I recently did a YouTube vid where I spoke on black women and the struggles we face pertaining to our mental health. I had to reflect and think is the right time to drop this video and I realised yes indeed it was.

Let me explain further, last Thursday I had a wobble the past few weeks it seemed like bad luck of obeah had been raining down upon my head everything that could go wrong went wrong. Including having to deal with negative entities in the shape of humans. It became so overwhelming that I wanted to take my own life.

That is not the easiest thing to admit however it’s imporfant to be open and honest about how I was feeling and how come I don’t right now. I’m also aware that not every black woman can defeat the monster that is suicidal thoughts, it can be caused by a mental illness or even as in my case just having a series of bad luck. I wish I knew the answer to everyone’s problems but unfortunately I don’t especially not having the answer to my own problems.

Black women it is ok to crimble and falter, we are only human beings and having the weight of the world on our shoulders is not the easiest task to bare. However bare it is what we keep doing and a lot of times that is to our own detriment. When do we find the time to sit down and breathe, when we have so many responsibilities I.e raising children, being activists, being friends, daughters sisters and everything to everyone but sometimes we forget that we need to exhale.

I’m not the best at articulating my thoughts, so when I speak on things that disturb my spirit I feel my mind going wayward and the thoughts start racing through my head. I read an article that states black women are the biggest suffers of anxiety currently it deeply saddened me as even though I don’t have problems with anxiety I’ve seen the negative impact it can have upon people’s lives.

I’m all to aware that everything black women have to deal with on a daily basis is also the cause of mental illness, we’re talking racism, microaggressions, not being believed by our own doctors and much more. The public perception of the black woman is we are strong and it’s this expectation that we have to be strong all the time it is this imaginary strength that I believe is counter productive.

I am not strong all the time, sometimes I am weak it’s like a sponge cake. If you put your finger in the middle, and took a slice it’s gooey despite its outer appearance looking solid.

I say all of this to let black women know crumble fall falter it is ok it doesn’t define you as person…..

Written by Sistah Soul