This is going to be the most difficult to address no one wants to admit they suffer from self hate. To look at yourself in the mirror every day and think I don’t love what I see.

Self hate is complex because it can mean different things, first when I look in the morning  and see the melanin is it appealing to me? Is it too dark, too light too red etc. When I think of my skin I think it’s beautiful to be covered in this melanin is a blessing. However unlearning self-hate takes years of self-work and as I stated previously if your parents are the ones teaching you to hate yourself and your constantly around them it is not easy at all.

Secondly a lot of black people have strong African features now to say what country these phenotypes are from I couldn’t tell you as i have not done a ancestry dna test yet. However I have a big nose full lips, brown eyes yet social media and the general media has made it so these features are to be ashamed of when they are on black people. Talking specifically about the black womans body hips, thighs and possibly an ass it’s a shame that since Sarah baartman we have been ridiculed for our body types.

Now we have white women with these same features that we had innately but we loathe them while it’s made popular and the latest feature on a white woman. It is amazing how fakery is more prevent then reality these days.

Thirdly. I am ashamed to say that it seems as if the unity between black men and black women seems to be fracturing. We can’t seem to find each other, we will date outside our race and then go on the internet or a radio show and tear down one another if you don’t love yourself how can you love others who look like you do?

However there are those of us who are working on ourselves, trying to rebuild the black community, dating black showing black love in all forms is perfectly acceptable, knowing that we want to raise black children teach them if they are dark skinned they are the most beautiful girl or boy in the world your deep melanin is a delight to look upon. Supporting more black owned businesses especially now there is a black owned business for everything including ‘supermarkets, hair shops, clothes even sunglasses’ variety is truly the spice of life you can not deny a black person their talent.

Every black person who suffers from self hate from the point you don’t want to marry a dark skinned woman or man or have dark skinned children I understand your pain. However the more you swim in those seas of hate the more white people will drown you…..

Written by Sistah Soul